When I think of fruitcake, I think of all the jokes about old, stale, cake – the kind that no one wants to receive around the holidays. But I don’t know what else to call this cake…it’s delicious, surprisingly better on days 2, 3, and 4 than day 1, with very little sugar, so it’s mildly healthy, for a cake, that is. And perfect with a side of vegan vanilla ice cream!
Want the recipe only? Scroll down to the bottom of this post.
So hey, who’s finally feeling like they’re settling into 2020? I know I sure am. I was most definitely in denial for quite a few weeks…like, no biggie, I get to stay at home…I love staying at home…this is great!
And now, week 17 of us working from home in this full-on pandemic that’s not only not going away but getting worse and worse every single day, and it’s starting to take a hold of me, and my emotions. Maybe I’m late to the party, as I’m typically happy go-lucky, glass is half full, and these days, I’ve been…I don’t know how to put it…Sad? Upset? Depressed? Is this what “depressed” feels like?
Most definitely, it’s caused me to be nervous. Maybe that’s the correct emotion.
Many of my friends have kids and I’ve talked with them about how unsettling this has been on their little ones, and how frustrating it’s been on them as parents, getting through these rougher patches of life with littles in tow. I didn’t feel any of that, I don’t have kids, and I love spending time alone… so no biggie.
Again, this is great! More time to read! I don’t have to come up with excuses for not wanting to hang out or not wanting to go somewhere! I get to be at home!
But now, 17 weeks in, and I want some kind of normalcy. I want to be able to give my mom a hug without freaking out afterwards thinking I could have killed her. I want to be able to have friends over and sit next to them and not worry about who they’ve been in contact with.
I simply just don’t want to worry, that’s all.
And yet I do.
So, people of America (those who are not on the front lines or healthcare workers, or teachers, that is), I’m starting to get what a lot of y’all have been talking about. COVID is making for some lonely times.
Is this what settling into 2020 is like? Gosh, if so, I don’t like it. I know y’all are with me. I know we all want even a sliver of our old lives back. That’s all it is for me, just a sliver. I don’t miss running errands and teaching too many yoga classes and feeling like I “have to” do this thing because I either: A. signed up for it and guilted myself into completing, or: B. simply guilt-tripped myself into signing up for one more training (or hang, or experience) in the first place.
One thing that has helped me on the days when life seems harder to deal with than others (which is getting to be more and more often) is this:
Stop and breathe, preferably while sitting on the floor, on my mat.
That might be the grass of your backyard, or your favorite chair. It’s definitely the place where technology doesn’t go, that’s for sure.
I take a few minutes, and I sit, or lay down on my mat, on the floor, and close my eyes, and breathe. It’s hard at first, and then gets easier: my breath starts to slow down, I am able to make my inhales and exhales similar in length, I’m able to relax the space between my eyebrows and relax my jaw.
It lasts for a few minutes, and then I get up and on with my day. And then get nervous again, and back on my mat.
These days, this is a cycle for me, and I do it several times a day.
I say this, because it might help you, too. It might be one little addition to our days that can help us get through the impending doom of 2020.
With love, and fruitcake,