If you were to ask me what I want in life, more than anything else, it’s time. I am sure most of us feel that way – we rush from one thing to the next, one appointment and one meeting away from having a second to breathe. These days, I am running late to everything. That’s not how I roll. But my passions consume me and I always want just one more minute to finish this chapter, 5 more minutes to cook these veggies, ten more minutes to write these words, before my hectic day sets in.
And time off from work doesn’t help me. Every year, I tell myself that I’m going to take a week off from work to just chill, to relax, to enjoy the city I live in and to work on my hobbies. And every year, my vacation lust list grows longer and longer, and my time off days are filled with trips. I’m not complaining about that. I just need a little more balance.
It’s the world we live in, which is ultimately a great world, for the most part. I believe that. Most people are good, deep down. There will always be greed and hate. But most people want good. This world gives us the opportunity to learn whatever we want to learn, quickly. We have so many more resources than ever before, at our fingertips. A few years ago, I wanted to get better at making pottery, I had hit a wall – I’d lost my passion, not sure where to turn to. And it turns out my neighbor is a potter, and a damn good one to boot (don’t you love how life presents us exactly what we’re looking for?). So I took lessons, and got better, and loved it…until life got in the way.
That happens to all of us, right? How do we have time to work on our passions when we have so little free time each day? How do we have time for us, to grow and learn, when we’re gone from our homes, working in an office, 10 hours a day, then cooking, cleaning, homework, conversations, soccer games, dance, whatever else. There’s just no time. It’s one of the reasons I wake up so incredibly early. If I didn’t have 4 hours before I had to leave for work, nothing that I love would get done. I’d never get to read, write, or cook. I’d never get to meditate or practice yoga at home. And I’d be completely bitchy all of the time.
So how do we continue to be balanced when our work consumes our life? I’ve been battling this question for well over a year, because my passions don’t make money. And it’s exactly those five words that have held me back: my passions don’t make money. How do I know that? Have I ever tried? The answer is no. I’m just assuming. I’ve lived my entire life on a belief that very well could not be true. Where do we come up with these things? I thought I was better than that, in all honesty. I thought I questioned things and didn’t go along with the status quo. But for most of my life, I’ve drowned out my passions with work. To be honest, a lot of my work I absolutely loved. I lucked out. But there was always that carrot hanging over my head, that little glimpse into freedom, into going out on my own, into truly owning my work, into being my own boss. It sounds so dreamy. And I left it there, out in dreamworld.
Artists live a hard life. Writers drink too much. Yoga teachers don’t make money. Chefs are all on drugs. It’s all too much work for too little pay. You’ll get burned out. What the hell, where do these things come from? And who decides what it means “to make money”? Who decides what success means? You do. We each do for ourselves.
I realized recently, that for me, success means that I have more free time. That I have time to breathe each day. That I can spend today making pottery, or creating something for a client, or cooking a new recipe for my blog, or writing another chapter for that book, or going to my favorite teacher’s yoga class. And that I can drive out to Big Bend National Park for a week and not have to worry about an ad deadline or coming back to hundreds upon hundreds of emails. That is what success means.
We each have to define that for ourselves. It’s hard to do, in a world of marketing and shopping and travel lust. I used to get sidetracked quickly, but that is getting easier. When you realize who you really want to be, all the distractions get easier to ignore. It’s more accessible to stay on your goal. Whether that be weight loss, or getting out of debt, or setting a budget for a new home…it become effortless to stay on track when you realize who you are and where you want to be.
So how does it all balance out? How do we afford this ever-increasingly expensive life while chasing our dreams? I don’t know yet. But I’m willing to try.
Time for Hummus Apple Paninis
Ingredients
- 1 apple
- 1/2 avocado
- 1/2 c. hummus
- handful fresh basil
- 1/4 c. walnuts
- 4 slices bread
- 1/2 tbsp. olive oil
Instructions
- Thinly slice the apple and avocado, and chop the walnuts into small pieces.
- Heat the panini press and coat both sides of the bread with olive oil.
- Layer the bread with hummus, apple, avocado, basil, and walnuts. Coat the other slices of bread with more hummus, and pile on top.
- Place the sandwiches in the panini press and cook for about 5 minutes, until browned. Serve immediately.