Rodney Yee was in Fort Worth two weekends ago. Yes, that Rodney Yee. And yes, Fort Worth, Texas. As in, Dallas’s little sister. As in, not as hip as Austin or as cultural as Houston. That Fort Worth. Cowtown. My oh my, how this city is changing for the better.
Rebecca Butler brought him and his wife Colleen Saidman Yee here to her studio to teach four 2-hour yoga classes on inversions (yikes), arm balances (double yikes), opening up to backbends – AKA fears (good god, seriously) and restorative (ok, thank you…yes, finally). Because I’m afraid of pretty much all of the above, meaning: large groups, social time, balancing on my arms, going upside down, and opening up to fears, I decided to sign up…for all of them. Why the hell not, right? I mean, Rodney Yee was less than 2 miles from my house. I would be a freaking idiot to not jump for joy and go all in. And I would be lying if I did not say my husband let me know that if I didn’t sign up at that very minute, he would be signing me up on my behalf.
I thought it would be a bunch of skinny, flexible, young yoga teachers coming up from Austin and Dallas….and me. I thought I would just sit and watch as people went upside down. I thought I would cry during the restorative session since it came during a very stressful week of my life. I thought I would feel awkward and look like a fake.
But this is what yoga does, over and over again: it accepts you. It doesn’t turn you away. I mean, seriously, yoga is love. I fully believe that, even in my times of oh my gosh there’s no way I will fit in… Everyone is accepted. All ages and backgrounds and shapes and sizes and places in life and demons and angels, all of it. It’s not a religion, it’s a path. It’s a path filled with righteous love.
It’s really unbelievable. If you listen, it will open up to you. It will fill your heart with love.
Fear is a funny word. As much as I know from experience that I’ll be accepted, I get that sick feeling in my stomach before workshops, before public speaking, before any adventure, difficult conversation, or new territory. We brace our lives for fear. We think we’re going to hate something or that something will go wrong…before even giving it a chance.
My friend Laura recently told me that she’s decided to start saying yes to life. I completely understand that. I’ve been doing that, slowly, in the last months, coming out of my shell. My happiest place is where I am totally alone, preferably with a book and journal or a mountain to stare at. But I’ve been forcing myself to say yes: to lunch dates, to workshops, to traveling, to new adventures. This Rodney & Colleen Yee weekend was one that I had to say yes to. I couldn’t pass that up. And I’m so glad I did.
Fear comes at us in so many ways, and it takes up so many forms. In Louise Hay’s You Can Heal Your Life, she states that fear and all of the pain that fear causes creates many diseases in our bodies. That what we believe creates our reality. So if you bow down to fear, if you allow it to consume you, you’re allowing it to enter your body and change the reality of who you are. It’ll change your future, your outlook, your health. This makes so much sense to me.
It’s a choice we make in life, to live in fear, or to live in the moment. To say yes is a choice. For me, yoga has helped me gain control of some fears, and look some straight in the eye. It has not obliterated all fear from my life for sure…but it’s gotten me on the right path. It’s led me to leave things I thought I would never be able to do, to stand up to those who live their lives instilling fear in others, and to whole-heartedly try new opportunities.
At the end of the workshops, Rodney briefly mentioned the myth of Kundalini and the cobra. My take-a-way from that myth is balancing fear. How immersing ourselves in yoga allows the cobra to rise up our spines, through our bodies, to reach us closer to enlightenment. Cobras symbolize our fears, and embracing our fears gets us closer to enlightenment. It’s our life’s work to awaken that cobra, to have it follow us along on our journeys, and to watch it and listen as we get closer and closer to enlightenment. Yoga helps us do that. It allows us to get closer, to pause, and to listen.
The thing about studying with a master, is that once you do it, you want it more and more. I’ve had a crush on Sharon Gannon for years now, and after studying with Rodney and Colleen, I can’t wait to learn from some of my other gurus. I plan to sign up for one of her sessions as soon as I can. It’s important to respect those who came before us, who set the way, who made life more colorful for us. We didn’t get here on our own, and we won’t ever survive that way either. We need our community, our friends, our tribe of people to walk with us through life. We need to embrace our fears in order to move forward. We should assist those who come after us, and learn from those who come before us. We should embrace fears and stay open to our heart of hearts. I get it…easier said than done…but it’s worth it. Overcoming fear is so worth it.
A few weeks ago, I stood up to one of my biggest fears. And I cried and panicked and was covered in sweat the entire time. And when I got home that day, I made these cookies, and I ate all but three of them, in one sitting. No regrets. Fear can be a bitch. When you feel like you can’t handle it, make some cookies, and enjoy what you have in life. Don’t beat yourself up. Enjoy what you know, and keep moving, keep growing, and learn from as many masters as possible.
Rodney Yee and Cowtown Fearless Cookies
Ingredients
- 1 tbsp. flax seeds ground
- 2 bananas ripe
- 1 c. rolled oats
- 1 tsp. vanilla
- 1/3 c. peanut butter
- 1/2 c. marshmallows
- 1/2 c. walnuts chopped
- 1/3 c. dark chocolate chips
Instructions
- Heat your oven to 350 degrees.
- Grind the flax seeds and add to 3 tbsp. warm water in a bowl. Stir well, and sit aside for about 5-10 minutes.
- Mash the bananas in a large bowl. Add the oats, vanilla, peanut butter, marshmallows, and flax mixture, and stir well. Fold in the chopped walnuts and chocolate chips.
- Place spoonfuls of batter onto a prepared baking sheet and bake for 10 minutes or until the edge of the cookies brown.
- I'm sure the cookies will keep for a few days but why the hell wait - they are delicious...so eat them, without fear, and savor every bite.